Our Kids Need Us: One Family’s Struggle to Survive

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By 25, Betty had four children. Her last delivery nearly killed her, when she lost too much blood. “I survived but never regained my health,” says Betty. “I was so tired, because I was always breastfeeding. I couldn’t help out in our village. I couldn’t even leave the house.”

Today, in two small huts in rural Uganda, Betty is raising seven children, all under the age of 13. She and her husband, Oscar, adopted their nieces and nephews—orphans who lost their father in a boating accident and their mother to HIV.

“Bonnie, Yvette, Isaac…” Betty begins naming her children, one by one. Five-year-old Omorvona hides shyly behind her brothers. 

All seven children rely completely on Betty and Oscar. They survive on what little money and food Oscar makes as a maize farmer. They count on Betty’s love and her promise to keep them in school—their best hope for a better life.

That’s why the couple’s HIV diagnosis was so devastating.

Step One: Learn The Truth

Oscar was at the clinic receiving treatment for malaria when he tested positive for HIV. At his doctor’s urging, he went directly home to tell Betty—who was pregnant—so she could get tested, too.

“The people at the clinic convinced him to tell me,” says Betty, gratefully. “He came home and said, ‘I have HIV. You need to get tested for our baby.'”

It wasn’t the first time Betty considered getting tested. “A few months earlier, I was at the clinic,” she says. “There was this health talk about HIV and family planning.” Betty heard that women with HIV could actually do something to prevent giving it to their newborns. “I almost got tested then.”

But it was Oscar’s news—the inescapable truth of it—that finally drove Betty back to the clinic. “I found out I was positive,” she says. That night, the couple sat down together. Imagine the extremely painful questions they asked themselves:

Did we give our children HIV?
About the pregnancy—how can we keep our baby safe?
Are we going to die?

Betty and Oscar promised to do whatever they could to protect themselves and their children. But they needed help.

Step Two: Take Action

The family was not alone. Thanks to the Arise project, they had a strong support system in place.

When Betty and Oscar returned to the clinic for treatment, they were greeted by a host of remarkable providers—the HIV case manager named Polly, who uses her own experience living with HIV to counsel others. The midwife named Judith, who says it’s her life’s mission to keep babies healthy.

Right away, Betty enrolled in a program for pregnant women with HIV (According to the World Health Organization, without antiretroviral drugs, Betty faced a 15-45 percent chance her child would be infected. But if she followed this program, which included a regimen of antiretrovirals, she could reduce that risk to less than 5 percent).

Then the couple had their children tested. They waited for the results.

Today, five years have passed. Betty and Oscar sit close on a mat in front of their hut, sharing their inspiring story. Betty smiles radiantly—“All of our children, even our youngest, are free from HIV.”

Betty and Oscar want to keep it that way. They want their children to be safe. To have food and education, even when poverty grips them tightly. They need to keep everyone—including the children’s only mother—healthy. That’s why they choose to use contraception.

Step Three: Make a Choice

Once a week, a “community support agent” named Dennis navigates the winding, overgrown footpath that leads to Betty and Oscar’s home.

“My job is to reach out to people, like Betty and Oscar, with information about family planning and safe sex,” says Dennis. “I counsel them regularly in their home and refer them to the health facility for services.”

Dennis is uniquely qualified—as a person living with HIV and a Pathfinder-trained counselor. Not only that, he grew up in the community he serves. He has known Oscar for years. 

“We felt comfortable to disclose our HIV status to Dennis,” says Oscar. “Then he was the one who told us about family planning.”

“Before Dennis visited us, we’d heard a lot of things about family planning,” says Betty. “But they were all wrong. Things like—if you use family planning, you just keep bleeding. Or if you get an implant in your arm, it will float under your skin, all the way up into your back. Also, we didn’t know all the ways family planning could help us. Dennis told us the truth.”

Empowered with information, Betty and Oscar began using contraception. To this day, they are overjoyed with their decision.

For Betty, it was a matter of life or death.

“Before, the doctor told me if I continued giving birth, I might not survive," she says. "But because of family planning, I am here. I am healthier. And I can do more things to take care of my family, like work in the garden."

Contraception allows Betty to be the woman she always wanted to be. “People can see how much healthier I am, that I am not always sick. So if there are problems in my community, they come get me,” she says, proudly. “They know I can help now.”

Oscar points to his children across the dusty yard. They smile back at him—big genuine smiles. “All HIV free. And all going to school,” says Oscar. “We feel good.”

Arise—Enhancing HIV Prevention Programs for At-Risk Populations is implemented by Pathfinder International and National Community of Women Living with HIV and AIDS. With support from PATH and Foreign Affairs, Trade and Development Canada (DFATD), Arise implements innovative HIV prevention initiatives for vulnerable communities, with a focus on determining cost-effectiveness through rigorous evaluations.

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My name is Brown Mark and am from USA,let me share this testimony to the world to hear about him too this man really exit I was HIV positive over 6year I have being in medication and I try to look for cure to my problem and I go through internet doctor and I found a tradition named DR. CAFAI i contacted cafaispiritualtemple@yahoo.com for help he give me all his laws and rule that if I get cured I should write about him and that is what am doing now, this man ask for some information about me, which I give him this man cure me from HIV what a great man thank for your help when he get the information he told me that he is about to work on it 20 to 30 minute this man email me and told me what to do for the curing which I did after all the things needed for the cure is provide the man call me in 45mins later and tell me to go for test what a great day to me I was negative thanks Dr CAFAi you can through his email address,cafaispiritualtemple@yahoo.com or his phone number +234 7067607073
Brown Mark July 29, 2014
hello everyone in this forum i am Loveth from South Africa. i was waiting for this days to come so that i will share a testimony of how i was cure of my hiv/aids by DR OKO the great healer. i will never forget this two days in my life the day i tested hiv positive and the day i tested negative.the day i tested positive was the saddest day for me but the day i tested negative was the happiest day for me, but who was the source of my happiness is God and DR OKO the great healer, that is the reason i am taking all my time to share this testimony so that people who might also need help of curing their sickness to contact him through his email: solutionhome@outlook.com as i earlier did when i was searching for help.this man brought countless joy into my life and my family as well. well i have really believe that God sent you to heal his people from this deadly disease. i will forever give thanks to you for healing me from hiv. please kindly contact this great healer if you need his help cause he can save your soul he just save mine. contact email address: solutionhome@outlook.com
loveth July 16, 2014
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